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Could TV Romances be Ruining Your Relationship?

Could TV Romances be Ruining Your Relationship?We all know television isn’t real. Or do we?

A study released last week on TV and Marriage  “found that people who believe the unrealistic portrayals on TV are actually less committed to their spouses and think their alternatives to their spouse are relatively attractive.”

In other words, people get unrealistic ideas about love and relationships. That makes them less committed and looking for something better “out there.”

Sometime it’s good to get a reality check.

5 Things to Remember to Keep Television Romances from Ruining Your Relationship:
  1. TV romances are the adult version of a fairy tale. We all love a happy ending. But, it’s important to remember it’s just a story.
  2. TV romances are not reality. On television everyone is beautiful. Everything happens quickly. Relationships blossom and/or conflicts are resolved in 30-60 minutes.
  3. Real people don’t look like actors. Even actors don’t look that good in real life. Real relationships take time to develop. Real relationship conflicts take time to work through.
  4. It’s better to not compare your relationship with the glossy television version of a relationship. If you have to compare, look at the relationships of those close to you. You will see they have their share of bumps and hurdles, too.
  5. You can have a happy ending. But, your relationship will probably have some ups and downs, too. That’s perfectly normal. In fact, overcoming obstacles and getting through tough times together are often the most meaningful aspects of real relationships. But, that story line may be too complex to fit into a 30-60 minute show.

So, the next time you’re tempted to compare your relationship to something you’ve seen on TV– remember, it’s not real. But, your relationship is.

Vonda (“Vondie”) Lozano, Ph.D., is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Hypnotherapist. She’s been featured in Cosmopolitan, the Wall Street Journal and on KABC Talk Radio. Vondie offers hypnosis, counseling, and workshops in Ventura. Nearby cities include Camarillo, Ojai and Oxnard.

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