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Create an Online Dating Profile to Find Your Guy!

Create an Online Dating Profile to Find Your Guy!You don’t want a ton of replies to your online dating profile. You want a few good ones. Because you are unique and special. And you want a guy who wants someone exactly like you!   

The Right Pics  

Men are visual so your main picture is the most important part of your profile. Choose pictures where you feel pretty and happy. Because that will come across.

Besides the usual head shot, guys usually want to see the rest of you too. Add some pictures that give him a small glimpse into your world — you on vacation, you walking your dog, you at a holiday party.

Other Pic Tips…

  • No sexy pics. You’ll attract guys who just want sex.
  • No pics with other people if you can help it.
  • Not too many pics. You don’t want to come across as a narcissist.
  • And of course, make sure your pics are clear and recent. You don’t want to feel like you’re false advertising.

A Catchy Headline

What are your hobbies and passions?

  • Are you a gourmet cook?
  • Do you love to salsa dance?
  • Do you love your grad program or career? 

How do your friends describe you?

  • Cute and endearing?
  • Playful and silly?
  • Serious and intense?

Combine some of your passions and personality into a catchy headline. You might be a Salsa Dancing Psychology Student or a Gourmet Cook who Loves Dogs or a Sassy CFO.

You’re painting a picture of who you are that makes him want to know more. And nothing sexy in your headline or the rest of your profile. (Just like a sexy pic – it will attract guys who just want sex.)

A Description that’s Uniquely YOU!     

You want to share what makes you different or special so you get the attention of your guy. But, you also want to present yourself in the best possible light. Kind of like you do when you’re looking for a job. You highlight your strengths and downplay your weaknesses. You put your best foot forward.

  • Are you spontaneous? Say so.
  • Are you whip smart? Include that.
  • Do you have a wicked sense of humor? Add that too.

If you’re worried about sounding like you’re bragging, say something like, My friends say — I have a wicked sense of humor. 

Another way to describe yourself is to share a story that shows him who you are.  You might say, I love to travel and try new things. Then you share a story that shows him. I went to Hawaii last summer with friends and I learned how to snorkel! My favorite moment was getting up close to a sea turtle. It was awesome! You’ve not only showed him that you love to travel and try new things, you’ve also let him know — you have good friends, you appreciate wildlife and you can swim!

What if you’re an introvert? And after a day filled with people, you can’t wait to curl up with a good book or watch Downton Abbey? If that’s who you are, share it. Just liven it up a bit. You might say, I love getting together with my friends. But, I also love a quiet night with a good book or watching my favorite TV shows. Opposites tend to attract. Your guy probably loves his friends, too. But, he would also love a quiet night curling up with you!

Your Deal Breakers

This is a tricky one. Let’s say, you’re a vegetarian. Obviously that’s important to you. But, you don’t have to lead with that. Because there may be guys out there who haven’t really thought that much about what they eat. But, they might be supportive and respectful once they understand what it means to you.

On the other hand, if you’re a vegan for spiritual reasons and you could never be with someone who isn’t a vegan, that’s a different story. Go ahead and include it in a more prominent way. But, it’s also important to be keep an open mind. Your guy may not fit into the exact box that you’re imagining.

Your Boundaries

Don’t overshare. Even if you’re an intense person, dial it back in your profile. Sharing too much too soon is a red flag. Think of it like a first date and keep things light and positive.

Be safe. Don’t include identifying information where someone could figure out where you live or even where you work.

A Little Help from Your Friends

Have a good friend look at your profile to make sure it sounds like you — at your best. And if possible, have a guy friend read it. He can tell you how it will come across to your guy. And ultimately that’s what really matters.

Vonda (“Vondie”) Lozano, Ph.D., is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Hypnotherapist. She’s been featured in Cosmopolitan, the Wall Street Journal and on KABC Talk Radio. Vondie offers hypnosis, counseling, and workshops in Ventura. Nearby cities include Camarillo, Ojai and Oxnard.

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