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Finding A Good Relationship Doesn’t Have To Be So Hard

I’m teaching the Young Adulthood: Love & Work  class at ULV this summer. 

And I can tell that some of the students are feeling like — this whole relationship thing is just way too complicated. 

But, it doesn’t have to be.

Some basic things to keep in mind are:

  • Keep your eyes open— to red flags; like lying, cheating, drinking, commitment issues (this includes keeping commitments to call you, get together, etc.)  
  • Keep an open mind — to guys who may not necessarily be your “type”, but who may be worth a second look.  This means taking a chance on a good guy (and by good — I mean nice, not icky, there’s a difference.)
  • Trust your gut— if he makes you doubt yourself, or feel bad in any way, that’s not good.  But, if you feel comfortable with him and enjoy being with him, that’s very good.   
  • Trust your close friends— if you have friends who are in good relationships, ask them how they meet their guy and/or ask them to fix you up.  You can trust that they’ll have your best interests at heart.  

Sometimes, we settle for less than we deserve, without even realizing it.  We think we’re asking for too much.  Or that someone we’d really want, wouldn’t want us. 

That’s just because we don’t realize how much we have to offer.  And we haven’t experienced a good relationship, yet.  But, we can.  It just means we have to do things a little differently.

Vonda (“Vondie”) Lozano, Ph.D., is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Hypnotherapist. She’s been featured in Cosmopolitan, the Wall Street Journal and on KABC Talk Radio. Vondie offers hypnosis, counseling, and workshops in Ventura. Nearby cities include Camarillo, Ojai and Oxnard.

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