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What is Your Closeness Comfort Zone? June 6,2009

Why do they pull away, when you get too close?  Or maybe you’re the one who need space, at times.

We all want to be loved.  But, we each have different comfort zones for how much closeness feels good.

So, how do you balance that out in your relationship?

  • ­There will always be times when your partner can’t be there for you.  That’s why it’s good to have friends and others to turn to.  You’ll get some of your needs met.  And you’ll be less likely to overwhelm your partner, when they’re ready to reconnect.
  • ­If you’re the one needing space, remind your partner that you care.  But, let them know, you just need a little time to yourself.  Then when you’re ready, you can reach out and reconnect.  But, it’s really important to take time for yourself when you need it.  Or, you’re likely to shut down in the relationship.

You’re never going to be in sync at all times.  But, if you can give each other breathing room when you need it, you’ll reconnect faster.

Some partners have very different closeness comfort zones, that’s a different story.  But, most of the time, if you respect your different needs, you can find your way back to each other.

And I hope you’ll join me for my next Village Book Shop Talk:

What is Your Closeness Comfort Zone?
Saturday, June 6, 2009
3:00 p.m.
Village Book Shop
123 N. Glendora Ave., Glendora

Vonda (“Vondie”) Lozano, Ph.D., is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Hypnotherapist. She’s been featured in Cosmopolitan, the Wall Street Journal and on KABC Talk Radio. Vondie offers hypnosis, counseling, and workshops in Ventura. Nearby cities include Camarillo, Ojai and Oxnard.

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