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What’s Keeping You from Love? Demonstration-How Your Family Patterns Affect You, Saturday, July 18

Are you looking for Mr/Ms Right. But, no matter how hard you try, it just doesn’t seem to be working out?

There’s a very good chance that your family-of-origin patterns are getting in your way — without you even knowing it. And that may be what’s keeping you from love.
So, I hope you’ll join me for a one-of-a-kind meetup to find out, What’s Keeping You from Love? (Demonstration) How Your Family Patterns Affect You.

We’ll look at:

• How to identify family-of-origin patterns
• How your family hardwires you to choose relationships that match your family-of-origin patterns
• How to begin to re-hardwire yourself for healthy love

The bulk of our meetup will involve a Live Demonstration exploring one member’s family-of-origin relationship patterns. But, you will also be participating.

And trust me — everyone gets a lot out of it.

Here’s how it works…

I’ll ask the member-volunteer questions about her family. We’ll begin to map her three-generational family tree. And we’ll trace relational and emotional patterns that get passed down from generation to generation, until we get to her and her relationships.

I know it sounds pretty basic. I’m just asking her to tell me stuff she already knows about her family.

But as we record important dates, events, and relationships themes and patterns begin to emerge. You may also notice things that she and I will miss. So your input is welcomed as well.

You’ll also start getting a sense of what some of your own family patterns are and how they may be affecting you and your relationships.

Here’s some of what we’ll look at:

Closeness/Distance/Boundaries: What are the relationships like in this family? Who is close to who? Who is distant? Where is the conflict?

Birth Order: What are the unique privileges and/or challenges for oldest, middle, youngest sibling in this family?

Favorites/Scapegoats: Who are the family heroes? Who are the black sheep?

Substance Abuse: How does drug or alcohol use affect family members and the rest of the family?

Abuse: Any physical, emotional, sexual abuse in the family?

Cut-offs: Did a family member stop speaking to other family members and cut off all contact?

Ages, Dates of Births/Deaths, Marriages/Divorces: What does the family timeline tell us about the back story of the family?

Illness/Accidents: Was a family member disabled, chronically ill or hurt in a serious accident?

Occupation, Education, Ethnicity, Religion: How important are work, school, culture and faith in this family?

Geographic Moves: Did a family member leave their home and move across country or to a new country?

Family Secrets: Were there any secrets? Who knew? Who was kept in the dark?

Any Other Important Issues or Events for this Family?

All of these dynamics contribute to the unique family you are born into. And this pre-existing matrix of relationships and events becomes hard-wired into you – defining “who you are” and what “family” or “love” means to you.

That’s how you end up repeating your family patterns without realizing it. And that’s what may be keeping you from having the kind of healthy loving relationship you really want and deserve!

When you begin to identify your family-of-origin relationship patterns, you can start making conscious choices about who you would like to be and the kind of relationships you would like to have.

I will also offer a Guided Imagery imagery at the end of our time together — to help you let go of any family relationship patterns you want to release and to begin to re-hardwire yourself for healthy love!

What’s Keeping You from Love? Demonstration-How Your Family Patterns Affect You
Saturday, July 18
3:00 p.m.
E.P. Foster Library
651 E. Main St., Ventura, CA
Cost: FREE

Vonda (“Vondie”) Lozano, Ph.D., is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Hypnotherapist. She’s been featured in Cosmopolitan, the Wall Street Journal and on KABC Talk Radio. Vondie offers hypnosis, counseling, and workshops in Ventura. Nearby cities include Camarillo, Ojai and Oxnard.

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